Bits of me, pieces of life

Oooh sorry guys ,😭 I know I’ve been so inconsistent with this blog. It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, but since it’s Father’s Day, I felt like I had to jot something down for “my man” (I mean, the lucky guy… wherever he is 😅). And yes, I’m single. 😂😭💀 I don’t know where I get these ideas from, honestly. Some days I’m just quiet, then boom my mind starts spinning and everything starts to look like a love lesson. So today, coming back from church, I asked my cousin something I’ve genuinely been thinking about: Why are some men so weird when it comes to giving? I’m talking about men who are working, claim they’re in love, call you “babe,” pray with you, check in on your day but can’t give even $50. And don’t get me wrong, neh. I’m not saying men should throw money around or make women dependent. No, no. But listen: there’s something important about provision. It’s not always about the amount. It’s about the effort, the mindset, the intention. We always talk about “waitin...

I never realized how desperate some men are for love until one found me. It was almost unbelievable. How do you fall head over heels for just a voice? A picture? How do you convince yourself to do anything for someone you’ve never even met? I don’t blame men for wanting love, but I now understand why some take matters into their own hands. That desperation can turn dangerous, even deadly, especially when it’s all built on an illusion. In a world where souls are bought and sold, love has become easy to fake. A well-curated profile, a charming voice over the phone, and suddenly you’re swept off your feet. But here’s the truth: you’re not falling in love with him; you’re falling in love with the idea of him. A man you’ve never met, never touched, never seen outside of a screen…that’s not love. That’s a mirage. And chasing it can lead you into darkness. Some men become obsessed with this idea of love. They invest their time, their money, and their hearts into a woman they’ve never met, con...

 There are moments in life that feel too heavy to carry. Moments that silence every good thought and drown you in whispers that lie to your soul. This is one of those stories. Raw. Real. And redemptive. There are parts of the stories we don't always talk about, but such stories can give hope to other people who might be going through the same darkness. I was young. But the weight carried didn't care about my age. But somewhere along the way, I got lost. I don’t know if it was pain, loneliness, confusion, or a storm of all three, but I found myself in a very dark place. There was a sadness I couldn't explain, a shadow that followed me around. And one day... I almost let it win. It didn’t happen suddenly. The sadness crept in quietly. Slowly. Until one day, I stood there… rope in my hand… shaking. Crying. Ready to do the unthinkable. Call it the devil, call it despair, call it confusion. But I was there. I know it sounds cringey to talk about now. But it was real. I felt like...

 There is probably something you need to work on to achieve effective results.  In a world full of supernatural believes, we always have a feeling something is holding us back when things don't move or workout. Especially after we have tried, cried and prayed. But do we ever think otherwise? Most of us are not under a spell, we are simply facing the work we have not done.  What really limits many of us is not our mind's capacity, but our heart's fear, pride and doubt. Too often we are too scared not of failure but, of disapproval. We hold our dreams captive because, we are scared to be judged and misunderstood. We aim for goals that are safe instead of goals that are true.  I prayed sincerely, some days even falling asleep mid-prayer, whispering hopes into the silence. But prayer isn't just a wishful thinking-, its faith in motion. Its trusting that while God listens, he will make wonders in our lives and require us to rise and act. So, if you are stuck, it's pr...

I remember walking into a friend's house. Then, I see their baby crying. I reached out, asked if I could comfort her. But the mother said "No, no... let her cry, she's so stupid," she said. For a moment I thought to myself, babies have hearts too. They feel things, they remember. And that kind of coldness leaves marks. We may not see it now, but this is how trauma begins. That loneliness, that abandonment it plants seeds of pain that grow in silence. Yes, even a child can be traumatized even before they know what the word means. Trauma is the emotional response to distressing experiences. It's not just about what happens, it's about what it does to you inside. It can be abuse, neglect, grief, a cold shoulder, a sharp comment that echoes for years, even silence when you needed love the most. It stays. It shapes you. And it hurts in ways most people will never see.  I've lived it too... I remember a time my cousin looked at me and said, “Go to your mom’s gra...

 I remember that night as if it were last night, January 27. I was in my sleep trying to wake up, but my body refused to listen. I couldn't move nor speak. I could hear the sound of my breath labored but it wasn't enough. I wanted to scream, call out, escape but the silence around me felt suffocating. Its as if someone was holding me back to sleep. Some people call it sleep paralysis, it's the unexpected. You can't go to bed ready for it because, you never know when it will happen... it comes naturally.  That night, felt like a decade. It was so strange, the inabillity to move but you can feel your existence. It's like you're fighting for  your last breath on earth, like someone telling you stay with me  just one more time please Melania. But you are already gone, I felt pressure in my chest,  its a very terrifying experience. It's not just the terrfying sensation of being held down. It's a memory of of people I lost, people I mistreated and words I neve...