Time in Relationships

Time. It’s something we all share, but somehow, when it comes to relationships, it feels like the most precious and scarce thing. It’s funny how we live in a world where everyone is glued to their phones, constantly reachable, always online. Yet, when you need someone the most, that same phone seems to be mysteriously out of reach.

I’ve been there feeling like I was being naive, letting my heart chase someone who was always “too busy.” Busy? In a world where no one can escape a notification? Where everyone’s phone is basically an extra hand? I’ve sat there, staring at my screen, watching the clock tick away, wondering why a simple text or call felt so impossible to return.

But here’s the thing. It’s not about the phone or the unanswered texts. It’s about the feeling. The feeling of being left hanging, wondering if they saw the message but just didn’t have the words to respond. It’s that silent question in your head: “Do they even care enough to make the effort?”

What hurts the most is the back-and-forth. One minute, everything is fine. You’re talking all day, sharing your thoughts, laughing at silly things. Then, suddenly, the messages slow down, the calls go unanswered, and you’re left in a waiting game with no clues as to why.

And let’s be real here being available all the time, responding within seconds, calling nonstop, is a red flag. Relationships are supposed to be built on respect for each other’s time and space. When you’re always “on call,” you forget what it means to have boundaries. You forget what it means to be your own person, separate from the constant need for validation or reassurance.

I think part of the issue is that we all expect more than we’re sometimes able to give. We expect someone to drop everything and be there, even when we know life doesn’t always work that way. But we also need to recognize when we’re giving too much of ourselves too quickly, without enough in return. That’s when we get lost in the expectation that someone will always be there, and that’s when the confusion sets in.

We are all human. We have lives, careers, and personal struggles that sometimes mean we can’t be there every second of the day. But it doesn’t mean we don’t care. It doesn’t mean we’re cheating or looking elsewhere. It just means we need time to breathe. And we need to learn to respect each other’s need for space.

In a healthy relationship, time is something you share mutually. But it doesn’t mean you should drop everything the moment the other person calls. It means knowing when to be there, and when to let the other person have their moment, too. It’s about balance. Respecting boundaries. Giving love without expecting it to always be returned on demand.

I’ve learned that I can’t give my heart to someone who isn’t willing to make time for me, but I also can’t hold them to the expectation of always being available. We all need our space to grow, to be individuals. So, yes, time in a relationship is tricky. It’s a dance of give and take, of understanding when you’re needed and when to step back.

But most importantly, I’ve learned that you can’t be afraid to set your own boundaries because when you respect your own time, the right people will come around and respect it, too ❤️