Being the Firstborn child

Being the firstborn child comes with a set of unwritten rules, and no one tells you about them beforehand. You’re supposed to set the example, but who’s setting the example for you? It’s like being handed a manual that’s already been scribbled in and half the pages are missing. But you roll with it, because what else are you supposed to do?

For me, it’s more about the things you don’t talk about. People always think they know what’s going on inside your head, just because you’re the oldest, but the truth is, you’re just figuring it all out like everyone else. The only difference is you get to do it while everyone’s watching. Like you’re the leader 🥹

I’m not really the type to overshare, so it’s easy to let people assume. I’ll admit: I don’t really care about other people’s business, unless, of course, it somehow sticks its nose right into my life. And by “sticks its nose,” I mean it messes with my space or my time. If it doesn’t, I’m content staying in my lane and focusing on my own world.

Now, don’t mistake me for being detached. I’m not a wallflower. I’m just particular. And when you grow up in a house full of people who want things done a certain way (because, hey, they’re all looking to you for guidance), it’s easy to let things build up, kind of like holding a grudge. It’s not even that I’m mad, I’m just… waiting. Maybe not even for an apology. Just for the right time to release it all, at once. When you’re the firstborn, timing is everything.

But let’s get one thing straight: being firstborn doesn’t mean I’m perfect. Trust me, I make my mistakes, too. And that’s the part nobody tells you about the secret pressure that comes from thinking you’re supposed to be perfect, or at least, make it look easy. It’s not easy. No one really tells you that. And because I don’t want to overshare or spill everything out, people are left to figure it out on their own. Sometimes, that’s fun. And other times, it’s exhausting.

But the bottom line? I do things my way. I’m learning to breathe, to take the space I need, and not let every little thing throw me off. And yeah, I don’t mind if people don’t get it. I don’t need everyone to know everything. But if you do get a peek into my world, just know it’s been earned. I’m not one to just give out access. And if you know about my business keep it 🥺

So, if you’re around long enough, maybe you’ll catch a glimpse of why I act the way I do or maybe you won’t. How I just live everyday of my life ignoring men in my Dms. But that’s part of the fun, right? 🤭