The talking stage.

There was a time I was caught in a trap, and girl, I’ll never forget it. I was sitting there, scrolling through my phone, and suddenly ping, ping, ping five notifications from five different guys. And what did they all have in common? “Babe.” Yep, you read that right. All of them calling me babe. I was sitting there laughing to myself because, honestly, I didn’t even know who had actually accepted me into their lives at this point. Funny, right? But also… kind of terrifying. Here I was, caught in the whirlwind of the talking stage, where no one was really my official anything, but everyone had a claim on me. Welcome to the chaos of modern dating, where labels are fuzzy, and everyone’s trying to figure out what’s happening, I am part of the fun too.

For those who’ve somehow avoided the term (lucky you), let’s break it down. The talking stage is when you’re not quite dating, but you’re also not “just friends.” It’s those few weeks or months where you text constantly, exchange stories, maybe even send voice notes, but haven’t officially had “the talk” to define the relationship. You’re getting to know each other, but you’re also trying not to get too attached, just in case it doesn’t work out. It’s the stage where you wonder: Do they like me? Are they seeing other people? Why haven’t they texted back in two hours? It’s confusing, it’s fun, and sometimes it’s just straight-up maddening.

Remember when you used to talk on the phone for hours with someone you liked? Now it’s all about texting or, if you’re lucky, the occasional FaceTime. The talking stage has evolved in the age of dating apps and social media. You might start by liking someone’s post, then maybe slide into their DMs, and before you know it, you’re exchanging memes at 2 a.m. wondering if you’re on the path to something real or just two bored people passing the time.

And let’s not forget the ghosting. One minute you’re texting back and forth with ease, and the next, they’ve fallen off the radar for what feels like an eternity. You check your phone, look at your messages, and wonder if you missed something did, I say something wrong? Did they lose interest? Did they meet someone else? And then you lie to yourself and tell yourself, “They’re probably just busy,” but deep down, we all know that ghosting might be the cruelest part of the talking stage.

Honestly, if there were an official time limit on the talking stage, I’d hand it out to everyone like an award. But, as we all know, there’s no “right” time frame. For some, the talking stage lasts weeks. For others, it’s months. Heck, I’ve heard people been in the talking stage for years. That’s right, years. You both know the drill, but somehow it never crosses over into real “dating” territory. But I think a talking stage shouldn't last more than two years. You could honestly just waste each other's time no cap.

And here’s the thing sometimes we drag it out because we’re scared. We’re afraid to put labels on something that feels so good. We like the uncertainty, the excitement of not knowing where things are heading. It’s like a Netflix series you’re invested, but you’re not quite ready for it to end, and maybe, just maybe, you don’t want it to be over at all.

Let’s talk about expectations, shall we? When you first start talking to someone, you have this perfect idea in your head of how it will all unfold. The texts will be endless. The dates will be magical. They’ll think you’re the funniest person they’ve ever met. Everything will fall into place, right? Exactly how I thought, but the reality happened. The realities were worse than the expectations. It was hard to believe but it was the reality 😔

Sometimes the texts aren’t as frequent as you thought they’d be. Sometimes, they don’t even seem that invested in what you have to say. Sometimes, the plans to meet up fall through for no apparent reason. And the worst part? When you’re left wondering if they’re still as excited as you are. Is this a one-way street, or are they just as unsure as you are? But hey, that’s part of the rollercoaster. It’s the butterflies when you get a response and the anxiety when you don’t. The excitement when they share something personal with you, and the uncertainty when you don’t hear from them all day. It’s exhausting, yet somehow so addictive.

The moment when you finally ask, “So, are we dating?” is always terrifying. Your heart races, your palms sweat, and suddenly, you’re thinking, “What if they say no?” But when they say yes well, it’s the relief of knowing that all the late-night texts, awkward pauses, and heart-fluttering moments were worth it. You’re no longer in limbo. You’re in a relationship, and the talking stage is behind you. You are no longer stuck between possibilities.

That moment is magic, but it doesn’t come without the journey of figuring out where you stand. Sometimes, it feels like you’re chasing something that’s just out of reach. But when it finally clicks, all the uncertainty and hesitation suddenly seem worth it.

Oh, the talking stage pitfalls. Where do I even begin? One major pitfall is overthinking everything. Like when they don’t reply to your text in 30 minutes, and you’re like, “Did I say something wrong?” Or “Are they shy to text back?” They’re probably just busy, but it’s hard to resist the over analysis. Another pitfall? Playing games. You know the spun, who texts first? How long should I wait to reply? All these mind games make the talking stage both exciting and infuriating. But truthfully, it’s about being honest and setting clear intentions, even when the temptation to play it cool is strong.

The talking stage isn’t always easy. It’s messy, filled with excitement and uncertainty, but that’s what makes it so relatable. It’s the real part of modern dating where we try to figure out what we want, what we’re looking for, and whether we’re ready to take the leap.

So, next time you find yourself in the talking stage, embrace the rollercoaster. Don’t overthink, don’t rush it, and remember: It’s okay to feel confused. You’re not alone in this. We’ve all been there, texting at 1 a.m. with a mix of excitement and terror, trying to figure out if this could be the start of something beautiful or just another chapter in the never-ending saga of modern romance.

And who knows? Maybe this one will be the one that works out. What happens next is always the most exciting part.